Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you feel more like a full-time therapist, emotional support animal, or human GPS constantly tracking someone else’s feelings? If so, you might be dealing with codependency—that sneaky relationship dynamic where one person (maybe you?) becomes overly responsible for someone else’s emotions, actions, and well-being.
Codependency isn’t just about being “too nice” or “too giving.” It’s about losing yourself in someone else’s needs, often at the expense of your own happiness.
If this is starting to sound uncomfortably familiar, don’t panic—you’re not alone, and more importantly, you’re not stuck. Let’s break it down.
What is a Codependent Relationship?
A codependent relationship is one-sided, emotionally exhausting, and built on an unhealthy need for validation or control. It’s when one person sacrifices their own needs (physical, emotional, or mental) to care for someone else—often to the point where they forget who they are outside of the relationship.
While often discussed in romantic relationships, codependency isn’t just limited to couples. It can happen between friends, family members and even co-workers (yes, like that one colleague who can’t function unless you proofread every email for them).
So, how do you know if you’re experiencing codependency? Let’s go through some telltale signs.
Am I Codependent? 16 Signs of Codependency
1. You Have Low Self-Esteem
If your self-worth is tied directly to how much you do for others, then you may be codependent. If you’re not helping, fixing, or supporting someone, you feel useless or unimportant.
You may not feel comfortable making decisions without running them by your partner because you doubt your own judgment. When you do something good, you only feel proud if they acknowledge it.
2. You Feel Like You Need to Save Them from Themselves
Are you the designated “fixer”? If your partner (or friend, or family member) has an issue, do you swoop in like an emotional paramedic, even when they don’t ask for help?
Maybe your partner keeps making the same bad financial decisions, but instead of letting them deal with the consequences, you swoop in and pay off their credit card bill.
Constantly playing relationship super hero is exhausting and, honestly, not sustainable.
3. You Want to Change Who They Are
You see their potential, not their reality. Deep down, you know people don’t change unless they want to, but you’re still constantly trying to “help” them become their best selves (translation: change everything about them so they stop making your life harder).
Perhaps you’ve made a mental list of “small things” your partner needs to work on: their temper, their drinking, their inability to clean… and you believe if you just love them hard enough, they’ll change.
4. You Feel Like You’re Walking on Eggshells Around Them
You censor yourself. You analyze their mood before deciding whether it’s “safe” to bring up an issue. You may even avoid confrontation at all costs because it never goes well. The truth is: Healthy relationships don’t require this level of emotional gymnastics.
5. You Feel the Need to Check in with Them All the Time
You send “just checking in” texts like it’s your job. If you don’t hear from them, you spiral into worst-case scenarios. If you’re tracking their every move (literally or emotionally), you might want to ask yourself: Why do I feel responsible for managing their life?
Maybe you’re feeling insecure about what they’re doing when you’re not around, or maybe you’re struggling to trust them due to a past betrayal.
You overthink everything. You worry any silence means they’re mad and a short text means they’re pulling away. You replay conversations like a detective looking for clues. A healthy relationship doesn’t leave you in constant emotional distress.
If you’re constantly worried about the state of your relationship, you could be experiencing relationship anxiety or even relationship OCD. Both of these can be signs of codependency.
7. You’re Always Putting Their Needs Before Your Own
You cancel your plans. You change your schedule. You bend over backward because their needs always seem to come first.
For example, you may decide to skip your yoga class or girls night out (again) because your partner had a rough day and “needed” you. If your default setting is “caretaker”, you might be codependent.
8. You’re Neglecting Other Relationships
Your world revolves around this person. Friends? What friends? Family? You’ll call them later. If you’ve accidentally isolated yourself because you’re too wrapped up in this relationship, take note.
9. You’re in Denial About Your Relationship
Other people have pointed out red flags, but you insist “it’s not that bad.” Deep down, you know something isn’t right, but admitting it means you’d have to do something about it… and that’s scary.
10. You’re Staying in the Relationship Out of Fear
Maybe it’s fear of being alone or fear of them falling apart without you. It could also be fear of confrontation or conflict. Either way, if you’re staying not because you’re happy, but because you’re scared, that’s a problem – and a possible sign of codependency.
11. You Have a Hard Time Setting Boundaries
“No” feels like a dirty word. You agree to things you don’t want to do. You let people overstep because you don’t want to upset them.
Maybe your partner borrows your car without asking (again) and you decide to let it go instead of confronting them. Maybe they stay out overnight without communicating but you decide to just ignore the situation, even though it was very upsetting.
You know you should set better boundaries, but you struggle to do it.
12. You Have a Hard Time Communicating Effectively
You either avoid tough conversations altogether or explode after bottling up resentment for months. Either way, your communication style could use some work. You may resort to passive-aggressive communication because you’re too afraid or uncomfortable to address conflict directly.
13. You Experience Reactivity
Instead of responding thoughtfully, you react emotionally. If someone criticizes you, you take it personally. If they pull away, you panic. Emotional stability is a challenge, and the way you feel can be easily influenced by your partner’s (or others’) moods.
If your partner seems distant, for example, your entire day might be ruined because their emotions dictate your emotions.
14. You Feel Like You’re Losing Your Sense of Self
You used to have hobbies, interests, and opinions—now your identity is just “partner of [insert name].” If you feel like you don’t even know who you are anymore, codependency could be the culprit.
Maybe you used to love running and going out with friends. Now, your free time is dedicated to your partner’s interests, and you can’t remember the last time you did something just for you.
15. You’re Always Seeking Their Approval
You crave their validation. If they’re upset with you, your entire mood crashes. You need constant reassurance that you’re loved, wanted, or doing a good job.
16. You Have Trouble Establishing Intimacy
Ironically, despite how emotionally entangled you are, true intimacy feels difficult. You might be afraid to be vulnerable or struggle to connect in a meaningful way.
You may feel like you share everything with your partner—except your real fears and insecurities because you don’t want to seem “too much.”
Why Am I Codependent?
So, you’ve read the signs, nodded along uncomfortably, and now you’re wondering, “Why am I like this?” Codependency doesn’t just appear out of nowhere—it’s usually something you’ve learned over time. The good news? Anything learned can be unlearned.
Let’s look at two major reasons why codependency happens.
1. Attachment Issues
Your earliest relationships in childhood lay the foundation for your attachment style, which shapes the way you feel and behave in relationships even as an adult.
If your early relationships involved inconsistency, neglect, or emotional unavailability, you might have learned that love = earning approval and taking care of others.
Maybe as a kid, you had a parent who was hot and cold—sometimes affectionate, sometimes distant. You quickly learned that if you behaved a certain way, you’d get the love and attention you craved.
Maybe you grew up in a household where your feelings weren’t really acknowledged—so you became the one who took care of everyone else’s emotions instead.
Or maybe you had a caregiver who struggled with their own problems (mental health, addiction, etc.), and you had to grow up fast—learning that love meant being responsible for someone else’s well-being.
Fast forward to adulthood, and now you’re subconsciously drawn to relationships where you feel like you have to work for love—because that’s what’s familiar. If love always felt like something you had to earn, it makes sense that you’d continue that pattern in your adult relationships.
But here’s the thing: Real love isn’t something you should have to earn. It’s freely given, reciprocated, and doesn’t require you to sacrifice your happiness just to keep the peace.
If any of this is ringing a bell, don’t worry—you’re not doomed to a lifetime of emotionally exhausting relationships. Recognizing the pattern is the first step toward changing it – and it is possible to change your attachment style.
2. Mental Health Issues
Codependency often coexists with anxiety, depression, trauma, or low self-worth. It’s a coping mechanism—a way to feel a sense of control in relationships when other parts of life feel overwhelming.
Here’s how it can play out:
Anxiety might make you feel like you constantly have to check in with your partner to make sure they’re happy (because if they’re upset, your whole day is ruined).
Depression can make you feel like you’re only valuable if you’re taking care of someone else—because if you’re not helping, what’s your purpose?
Trauma (especially from past relationships or childhood) might make you hyper-aware of other people’s emotions, leading you to anticipate their needs before they even ask (hello, emotional exhaustion!).
Low self-worth can make you over-give, over-sacrifice, and over-invest in relationships where you’re not getting the same energy in return. Because if you’re not constantly proving your worth, you’re afraid people might leave.
Codependency can feel like a security blanket—it gives you a sense of purpose and something to focus on besides your own struggles. But at what cost? If your entire sense of self is wrapped up in someone else’s needs, you never get to figure out who you actually are when you’re not playing therapist, caretaker, or crisis manager.
The key to breaking free from codependency isn’t just about setting boundaries (though that’s a big part of it). It’s about recognizing that your worth isn’t determined by how much you do for others. You don’t have to be someone’s emotional life raft to deserve love. You don’t have to fix, save, or sacrifice to be valuable.
Get Help with Codependency
If these signs of codependency felt familiar, don’t worry. You don’t have to do this alone. Therapy can help you untangle these patterns, understand where they came from, and learn how to build relationships that feel mutually fulfilling—without losing yourself in the process.
There are three primary steps toward healing from codependency:
1. Self-Awareness
Start noticing your patterns. Pay attention to when you’re people-pleasing, overgiving, or losing yourself in a relationship.
2. Focus on Self-Care
Prioritize your needs. Reconnect with hobbies. Spend time with people who energize you. Learn that it’s okay to put yourself first.
3. Seek Professional Help
Both in-person and online therapy can help you untangle unhealthy relationship habits, set boundaries, and rebuild your self-worth. Working with an attachment-focused therapist and/or trauma-informed therapist can be especially helpful to overcoming codependency because they can help you get to the root of the issue and truly heal.
Remember, codependency is not a life sentence—it’s a learned behavior, and anything learned can be unlearned. The key is recognizing it, understanding where it comes from, and taking steps to change it.
Explore the difference between codependent vs empath and learn how to heal from codependency – without losing your empathy.
Relationships can bring up a lot of emotions. You may feel your partner’s emotions just as deeply as your own. If you identify as an empath, you’re probably very used to feeling and identifying with others’ emotions.
It’s completely normal (and lovely) to want what’s best for your partner in the relationship and beyond. But if you’re consistently putting your partner’s needs above your own and spend all your time worrying about how they’re feeling, you may be more than an empath, you may be in a codependent relationship.
Keep reading to learn more about the difference between codependent vs empath and what to do if you think your relationship is becoming unhealthy.
Understanding Codependency vs Empathy
In relationships, codependency and empathy can appear similar. Both empaths and codependents typically understand and share others’ feelings. They deeply feel the emotions of their partner. But beyond these similarities, codependents vs empaths are actually quite different.
What is an Empath?
An empath is an individual who is highly tuned in to the feelings and emotions of those around them. Being an empath goes beyond having empathy. Empaths not only understand others’ feelings but actually feel what another person is feeling at a deep level.
This can be a wonderful trait. Empaths are often great listeners and understanding partners and friends. Empaths are also typically good at detecting dishonesty in others and have strong intuition.
However, without strong boundaries and a strong sense of self, empaths can risk emotional burnout and even codependency in relationships.
What is Codependency?
Codependency can look a lot like empathy on the surface, but it’s really quite different. Codependency is a problematic relationship pattern that involves trying to control and win love from people who are emotionally unavailable, such as addicts or individuals with narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder.
Codependent partners not only feel their partner’s emotions, they consistently put the feelings, needs and desires of others above their own. They are pathologically caring and sacrifice their own needs and sense of self for their relationship.
As a result, they often find themselves in relationships with egotistical, self-centered and selfish people who take more than they give back to their partner. A codependent partner will try to control and change their partner’s behavior (usually unsuccessfully).
What is the root of codependency?
Codependency usually begins in childhood, so it’s important to understand the impact of your childhood trauma and wounding.
If you’re codependent, you may have experienced:
Neglectful or abusive caretakers
An addict or mentally ill parent
A codependent parent
Overbearing, controlling and authoritarian parent that discouraged independence
A home that lacked boundaries
A volatile home where you had to learn how to sense your parent’s mood to stay safe
Love that was conditional on your achievements or obedience
How do I know if I am codependent?
It’s not always easy to spot the difference between codependent vs empath. The best way is to understand the signs of a codependent relationship and reflect on whether they ring true for you and your relationships throughout your life.
Signs of a Codependent vs Empath in Relationships
Codependents and empaths often function in similar ways in relationships, however, there are some key differences.
At a basic level, while codependents and empaths both feel their partner’s emotions deeply, empaths are able to do so while maintaining a strong sense of self. Codependents, on the other hand, struggle to maintain their own identity in relationships.
Codependent Partners and Relationships
Codependent partners:
Feel other people’s emotions but are often cut off from or dismissive of their own
Lack boundaries (they feel bad setting them or don’t know how)
Doubt and override their intuition
Are attracted to and keep attracting toxic partners
Try to fix toxic people and addicts rather than leaving the relationship
Are emotionally unavailable or vulnerable without boundaries
Lack confidence and self-love
Are invested in changing and controlling others
Empaths and Relationships
Empath partners:
Feel emotions deeply – both their own and other people’s
Have boundaries to protect their energy
Are connected to their intuition
Can recognize toxic people and relationship patterns
Do not let toxic people into their emotional space or set clear boundaries with them
Are emotionally available and vulnerable (but with boundaries)
Are self-confident and self-loving
Accept self and others as they are, without trying to change or control them
As you can see, while codependents and empaths demonstrate some similar qualities, healthy empaths are able to feel their partner’s emotions deeply without sacrificing their own needs or dismissing their own feelings. They’re able to set clear boundaries in relationships and avoid toxic people and relationships.
Can you be a codependent empath?
If you’re wondering if you’re codependent or empathic, you’re not alone. So, are codependent people empathic? The short answer is yes.
Often, people who are codependent think they are empaths and may not realize the unhealthy relationship patterns they’re engaging in.
A simple way of looking at the connection between codependents vs empaths is this: all codependents are empaths, but not all empaths are codependent.
Are codependent relationships bad?
Unless a relationship is abusive or dangerous, then a codependent relationship is not inherently bad. In some cultures, for example, a codependent dynamic is a social norm for married couples and both partners may be very comfortable in their roles.
As a codependent, you may have a history of dating narcissists, addicts or mentally ill partners who are not able to put your needs or desires ahead of their own. You may find yourself going above and beyond to make your partner happy, essentially performing for their love.
Often codependent partners overfunction in the relationship to make up for their partner’s underfunctioning. You may give more than you take. And while it’s not a bad thing to be giving in relationships, codependents are often resentful of their partner’s lack of reciprocation.
Codependent relationships also lack boundaries. You may take part in snooping, controlling behavior or even acceptance of abusive treatment.
And codependent relationships don’t serve the partners of codependents either. As a codependent, you might make excuses for your partner’s behavior and protect them from the consequences of their actions. You may minimize your partner’s negative qualities or try to manipulate, control and change their behavior.
All of these patterns and behaviors result in a relationship that is very one-sided, lacking boundaries and trust and can destroy your sense of self.
How to Move from Codependency to Empathy
The good news is, that it’s totally possible to move from a codependent to a healthy empath. It does, however, take some serious work to heal from codependency.
Here are some of the best things you can do to start healing:
Put Yourself First
Commit to your own healing above everything else. This can be really challenging, especially for someone who is used to putting everyone else’s needs above their own. But it’s critical to make healing a priority.
Set Boundaries
Learning how to set boundaries and hold them is critical to healing from codependency. One of the biggest differences between codependent vs empath is the ability to set and hold boundaries, even in the face of big emotions.
Share Your Needs
Start speaking your needs and desires, even if it means your partner gets mad or leaves. While it’s difficult seeing a relationship end or change, it can make room for new, healthier relationships.
Stop Making Excuses for Your Partner
If you’ve been covering up or lying about your partner’s behavior, it’s time to stop. Recognize that you’re not helping yourself or your partner when you enable them or try to control and change them.
Start Working on Self-Love
It’s cliche but true – you must first love yourself before you can truly love someone else. And if you want to have a healthy relationship that is not codependent, you need to give yourself kindness and positive self-talk.
Make Self-Care a Priority
Give yourself the same care and attention that you give to your partner. Put yourself first for a change. Take care of yourself the way you take care of others. Figure out what brings you joy and do more of it, whether it’s getting a monthly massage, reading a good book or spending more time with friends.
Heal Childhood Trauma
So much of codependency begins with your experiences in childhood. One of the best things you can do to heal from codependency is to work on healing your inner child. Working with a trauma-informed therapist, such as an attachment-focused EMDR therapist, is a good option.
Date Yourself
You need a therapist, not a new partner. Stay single for at least a year while working on yourself. If you jump into a new relationship too soon, the codependency cycle is likely to start up again. Spend time hanging out with yourself. Learn what you like, try new hobbies and spend time with friends. Learn to be happy on your own.
Tune Into Your Intuition
Somatic work is a great way to better understand your emotions and tune in to your intuition. One of the biggest differences between codependent vs empath is the lack of connection to your intuition that many codependent individuals experience. Working with a somatic experiencing therapist can help.
Stop Trying to Change People
Accept people for who they are and believe them the first time when they show you who they are. Don’t take on any more projects! Instead, find people you care about and accept just as they are.
Get Help Healing from Codependency
If you’re comparing codependent vs empath and realizing you’re leaning toward codependency (or maybe are fully there), then it’s time to seek professional help. While it’s possible to start working on overcoming codependency on your own, a trauma-informed therapist is going to give you the support you need to get to the root of the issue and truly heal.
Looking for immediate help with codependency? Check out our webinar, Codependency 101. Sign up today for instant access to more than an hour of education about the signs of codependency, the problems with a codependent relationship and how to stop being codependent.
Do you find yourself wondering about the signs of a codependent relationship or researching how to fix a codependent relationship?
Do you worry more about your partner than you do yourself? Do you find yourself trying to control his or her behavior by manipulating him or her? Are you constantly making excuses for things that he or she does? Do you hide the things that your partner does from your friends because you know that they would tell you to get the heck out of there if they knew the truth?
If so, you may be suffering from codependency.
If you’re ready to take the steps to overcoming codependency in relationships, then this article is for you. Keep reading for more information on how to recognize – and fix – codependency.
What Is a Codependent Relationship?
Codependency, or being codependent occurs when you are so consumed by what your partner is doing that you forget to focus on yourself.
Many times, codependency happens in response to being with a partner who has some kind of addiction or a mental illness. The addiction could be to alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, food, the internet, or video games. It doesn’t matter what kind of addiction it is, only that the addiction takes your partner away from you and makes him focus only on themselves. The types of mental illness that often attract or create partners with codependency are personality disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and others.
Signs of a Codependent Relationship
If you want to learn how to fix a codependent relationship, the first step is to identify whether you’re truly in one. Codependency can show up in many different ways. If you aren’t sure if you are in a codependent relationship, here are some checklist items to consider:
Do you often cover for your partner so that he/she won’t face negative consequences of his/her behavior?
Do you make excuses for your partner’s behaviors?
Are you in denial that your partner has a substance abuse problem or mental illness?
Are you aware that your partner has a substance abuse problem or mental illness but you are afraid to ask him/her to get help for fear they will get mad or leave you?
Do you tell yourself things like, “Well, he only drinks after 5pm, so he’s fine,” even though he has to drink every night? Or downplay the fact that he watches porn everyday and there is a lack of intimacy between the 2 of you?
Do you make excuses for your partner’s verbally, physically or emotionally abusive behavior towards you and others?
Do you clean up after his/her messes, both literally and figuratively?
Do you walk on eggshells so as not to upset your volatile partner?
Do you find yourself worrying about your partner often? Wondering what he/she is doing but afraid to ask? Or snooping to find out.
Do you feel unable to function and obsessing about your relationship when you and your partner aren’t getting along?
Do you put your partner’s needs before your own?
Do you have trouble setting boundaries with your partner?
Do you find yourself giving your partner ultimatums that you never intend to follow through with because you are so desperate to get him/her to change their behavior?
If you can relate to some of these questions, then you may be struggling with codependency. But can a codependent relationship work? And if not, can you learn how to fix a codependent relationship?
Before you can begin to explore how to fix a codependent relationship, you need to truly understand where codependency and over-dependence in relationships comes from.
If you are in a relationship with someone with an addiction or a mental illness, chances are you’ve experienced some of the behaviors above. You probably feel like your world revolves around your partner and their emotions and you are constantly walking on eggshells trying to manage their reactions. Just as the addicted person is addicted to alcohol, so the codependent person is addicted to the addict.
Let that sink in.
Being codependent means that you are addicted to your addicted person. Just like alcohol (or drugs or porn or video games) temporarily takes him away from his problems, focusing on him, temporarily takes you away from yours.
Think about it: If you are always focused on what your addicted person is doing or feeling, you can’t focus on yourself. You avoid having to be conscious of your own behaviors. Sure, you might be neglecting your own needs, or “not having time” to work on your own goals, but it would be selfish to focus on yourself and your problems when your partner is so much worse off, right?
Wrong. That misconception is just one of the many signs of a codependent relationship.
In reality, the energy that you are spending trying to “fix” your alcoholic-addicted-liar-narcissistic-partner is going nowhere. Whatever problem your partner is having is not something that you can cure or control.
In fact, the more you do for him or her, the less they will do for themselves. That’s why we call it enabling when a codependent person makes excuses or cleans up metaphorical (or literal) messiness for an addicted or mentally ill person.
Even though you think you are helping, you are actually making it easier for the addicted person to continue his behavior without experiencing the natural consequences that should be happening.
This is just one reason why learning how to fix a codependent relationship is so important for both members of a couple.
Why Are People Codependent?
Many people who find themselves in a codependent relationship grew up in a home with a parent with an addiction or mental illness. They learned to tune in to that unhealthy parent’s emotions in an effort to predict when interacting with the parent was safe and when it was not.
Addict and mentally ill parents are often unstable and unpredictable, both emotionally and physically. As a result, children of such parents often develop an insecure attachment style, learning to walk on eggshells and making their needs scarce in order to keep the parent calm and happy. This was an adaptive response as a child and often helps a child survive or stay out of danger in an unstable home.
Someone who grew up like that often becomes codependent. A codependent is the ideal partner for an addict or someone with a personality disorder because they have a much higher tolerance for abusive or unstable behavior, they are used to ignoring their own needs to cater to a difficult person, and they are often attracted to the familiar (albeit unhealthy) feeling of living with an unstable person.
Recreating the environment of childhood in our romantic relationships is our unconscious mind’s way of trying to heal our childhood wounds.
Fixing Codependency in Relationships: Focus On Your Own Self-Esteem
Building up your self esteem is one of the first steps toward discovering how to fix a codependent relationship.
Pay attention to the way that you talk to yourself. Replace negative self-thoughts like, “I am not good enough,” with positive ones like, “I am worthy of love just as I am.” Focus on your strengths instead of your limitations. Try to see failures as opportunities for growth, and for the love of llamas stop blaming yourself for what your partner does!! You are not their keeper.
If you find that it is a pattern for you to get involved with people with addictions, it’s okay to explore whether you might be a “fixer,” but do it with self-love. Try to be curious, rather than judgmental about your patterns. Most likely this is something that started in your childhood (as described above) and it’s not your fault. I know it can be scary to look at your own patterns, but it’s well worth it. If you want to start that journey, it’s definitely something that we can work on in therapy.
One of the things that I like to do with my clients who are healing from codependency is to help them learn to “re-parent” themselves. Basically, you learn how to relate to yourself as if you were the responsible, loving parent that you never had. It might sound kooky, but it really works.
How Do I Stop Being Codependent In A Relationship? Let Consequences Happen
If your partner is going to be late for work because he’s been pulled over for a DUI, don’t lie to his boss for him. Let the natural consequences of his actions take place. Sometimes, the only way an addict can get better is by hitting “rock bottom,” and that can’t happen if someone is always covering for them.
Sometimes, it will feel extreme to let these consequences happen. For example, if you have to kick your spouse out of the house, you might feel like a horrible person. You aren’t! I’ve even known mothers who have had to stand by and watch while their children go to jail.
This part of navigating how to fix a codependent relationship isn’t easy, but the alternative is to continue to block the lessons that the addicted person desperately needs to learn to feel motivated to change.
How To Fix a Codependent Relationship: Know Your Boundaries
Realize that “NO.” is a complete sentence. Recognize what your limits are and stick to them.
One way to do this is to scan your body for your own feelings. Know when something makes you uncomfortable and give yourself permission to put a stop to it, even if it might make your partner upset. Learn to give priority to your own feelings of comfort, instead of constantly trying to please your partner.
Setting healthy boundaries is one way of truly loving yourself. Many times people who tend to ignore boundaries are drawn to those who don’t know how to set them. Don’t expect your partner to know when your buttons are being pushed. You have to be willing to say “NO,” and mean it.
Overcoming Codependency: Focus On Yourself
This is a big one when it comes to learning how to fix a codependent relationship.
Get to know yourself better. Find out what you like and what you don’t and take steps to fill your life with more of what you like. Make plans with friends and don’t wait until you know your partner is unavailable to make plans! Make sure that you are practicing self-care (eating well, exercising, getting enough rest, etc.) and allow time to find hobbies that you enjoy that don’t involve your partner.
It’s very healthy to have interests outside of your romantic relationship. Some people worry that this could ruin their relationships, but the opposite is actually true. Having individual interests makes each person in the relationship feel better about themselves, and this helps to make a healthier couple. Plus, when you have your own jam, you have more exciting things to talk about when you do spend time with your partner.
Above all, know that there is help available! Try reading one of Melody Beattie’s works like her groundbreaking book, “Codependent No More,” which has helped millions. Or, find an Al-Anon meeting, which is a sister meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, for partners and loved ones of those suffering with addictions.
Knowing that you aren’t in this situation alone is a very powerful tool. It can help you to feel less isolated, and it might even help you recognize others who do the same things that you do. This will help you become aware of why you think and feel that way that you do. It’s extremely healing to realize why you act the way that you do; this is what we call “becoming conscious,” and it’s the pathway to emotional freedom.
How to Fix a Codependent Relationship Once and For All
If you think that you may be in a codependent relationship, then now is the time to start working on overcoming codependency.
If you’ve started to incorporate some of the strategies in this post but are still struggling, then it might be time to get professional help. At Couples Learn, our therapists have extensive experience helping clients heal from codependency and build healthier, happier relationships.
Are you ready to fix codependency? Then contact Couples Learn today to get started. We are here to help!
