Online Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues
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Or, perhaps you are in a relationship and wondering if you should stay or leave. You love your partner but you know your dynamic is unhealthy and maybe even toxic.
Or maybe you are in a relationship with someone you consider to be healthy and you’re afraid of messing things up. You want to just relax and be happy but you feel so anxious and worried about the relationship all the time.
Or maybe you’ve been the non-committal type for years and finally want to settle down but you’re finding it really difficult to find someone that keeps your interest. You start off liking someone a ton, and you think you’ve found the one but, your feelings eventually fade and you start to feel suffocated. You want a long term relationship but you’re starting to wonder if maybe you’re just not built for it.
Or maybe you’re in a relationship that you know needs help but you are the only one willing to come to therapy. You are wondering if anything can be done to help the relationship if just one person is in therapy.
You are not alone. Couples Learn therapists specialize in working with individuals and couples just like you in these exact situations. We can help.
Relationship Therapy for Singles
Many individuals struggling in love are incredible people with a lot to offer but they are being held back by unconscious limiting beliefs about love and relationships.
- “I’m not good enough for the type of partner I really want.”
- “There must be something seriously wrong with me because everyone keeps leaving me.”
- “There is no one good left on the market. All the good ones are already married.”
- “All men/women are cheaters”
- “Love hurts”
- “Committing to someone means giving up my freedom.”
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Therapy For Singles
Many people who struggle in relationships didn’t have the healthiest love modeled for them in childhood. Their parents are often divorced or have an unhealthy dynamic – either fighting all the time or hardly connecting at all. Their parents may not have been very loving to them as children either. They were either too busy or preoccupied to care what you were doing or they were hyper critical, watching your every move.
We tend to repeat what we don’t repair so you may find yourself unconsciously repeating patterns from your childhood in your romantic relationships. For example, someone who grew up with an emotionally unavailable parent or a parent who was not physically there, tends to attract partners that aren’t truly emotionally available. They may start off hot and heavy but then leave abruptly just when you start to feel safe. Or perhaps you are the emotionally unavailable one in that example and want to learn how to open up.
Uncovering these patterns and healing the childhood wounds that caused them is the key to finding happiness in love.
Individual Therapy For Relationship Issues When You Are In A Relationship
Many people wonder if they should seek couples therapy or start with individual counseling instead. Or maybe you know you need couples therapy but you have an unwilling partner (more on that later).
You might be considering individual counseling because you feel like you are “the problem” and need to fix yourself before working on the relationship. Or maybe you’re afraid you’re the problem and want validation from a therapist that you aren’t before starting couples therapy.
Occasionally, it is best to address individual issues before working on the relationship. If you are stressed, depressed or anxious about many aspects of your life, aside from your relationship, you may find that handling those stressors and improving your mood is enough to shift the dynamic in your relationship. Or, if you are having trouble with coworkers, friends, family relationships, and your romantic relationship, it might be a good idea to seek help individually first to determine what is at the core of your relational difficulties.
However, if the main stressor in your life is your relationship, and you have a willing partner, couples therapy is usually the best place to start. You are not creating this relationship dynamic by yourself and it’s not going to be completely solved with just you working on things. Even if you are the more aggressive partner (also called the maximizer) and you know you need to change how you communicate, you and your partner are still co-creating the experience you are having in your relationship. Yes, learning how to self-soothe and speak calmly will be incredibly helpful for the maximizer. But, the less assertive partner (also called the minimizer) also needs to learn the new communication tools you’ll be using so that you can both practice and change the unhealthy dynamic together. The minimizer also needs to gain the confidence to come out of their shell and communicate, even when it feels scary. This shift is best facilitated in couples therapy with a mediator and will get you the fastest results.
What To Do If Your Partner Won’t Go To Couples Therapy
But what if you don’t have a willing partner? You’ve asked your partner time and time again to go to couples therapy and they refuse. You finally get fed up and decide if they won’t go, you’ll go without them. You may even be getting to the point where you’re trying to decide if you should stay in this relationship. In that case, individual therapy can definitely help.
It’s true that it would be much easier to change your relationship if both partners were working on it but there is still a lot that can be done to help even if you are the only one in therapy.
Individual Therapy For Relationship Issues Provides:
A safe space where you can explore the costs and benefits of staying in your relationship.
A safe place where you can be honest about your relationship dynamics and the fights you have without fear of judgement.
Suggestions on how you can change the way you communicate and set boundaries with your partner to get better results.
A safe and non-judgemental place where you can explore and heal the childhood wounding that you might be playing out in your relationship.
A trained professional that can help you see your blind spots and understand the dynamic in your relationship from a psychological and scientific perspective.
A place to vent about your relationship concerns with someone who is impartial so that you don’t share too much with friends and family.
Can You Relate To These?
- I’ve been hurt in love before, so I avoid taking risks and putting myself out there emotionally.
- I recently experienced a bad break up or divorce and I need some help getting back on track.
- I’m lonely and don’t think I’ll ever find a ‘good enough’ relationship.
- I feel frustrated that I keep making the same relationship mistakes over and over again, but I don’t know how to stop.
- I feel scared and distrustful whenever I get close to someone, so I pull away and keep my distance.
- I’m burned out from modern dating but I don’t know what else to do to find the relationship I want.
- I lack the confidence to be open and vulnerable and express myself fully.
- I’m confused about whether I should stay in my relationship or leave.
- I’m starting to wonder if I’m crazy or if my partner is the crazy one.
But how do you know this will work when so many things haven’t?
Your therapist will help you uncover patterns and unconscious beliefs that are guiding your behavior and creating unwanted results in your life. Your therapist will help you take action that will change those beliefs and patterns and provide real results in your life.
You can make decisions today that will help you break free from unhealthy and unhappy relationship patterns once and for all.
You can add more fulfillment, joy, and intimacy to your life when you take intentional action.
NO MATTER what’s preventing you from having the life you so desperately want, we’ve seen it before—and have the steps you can take to create a life and relationship you love.